What felt like a good idea at the time, suddenly seems less so. I have been thinking of leaving my job for the best part of a year now, but until the last few months it has stopped at just a passing thought. Yesterday I handed in my formal resignation notice with no real plan.
It is worth mentioning at this point that I do not have any children or financial commitments that I will be unable to meet, at least in the short term. It isn’t completely wreckless nor is it impacting on anybody else. It will hopefully seem a little less wreckless when I add I am not leaving until the end of June next year. So I do have time to formulate a plan.
I know the end goal.
I would like to mix freelance writing, coaching and throw in a social job to get my fix, perhaps in a pub. I have little idea how to get there though. I can write but I don’t have any experience in knowing how to make anything close to an income from it. I am studying a Masters level coaching qualification, so that ticks a box of sorts. Although that is just have the equation, generating an income from coaching is also an unknown for me. I have never worked in a pub, but I am hoping that one won’t be a problem.
The above paragraph aside, this isn’t a blog post about what I plan to do, but rather what I have just done.
I have a little over nine months, but it suddenly feels very real. I am really excited for what lies ahead, but I am going to be perfectly honestly, also pretty scared. I have always said I like my job and I still believe that to a degree, but it is a very a liberating feeling.
The biggest question I have is probably why.
I know the answer, although I will perhaps never know if it is the right answer.
I weighed up what I like about my job, my employer and colleagues and what I don’t like so much, looking ahead what is positive and what is not so positive. I have read that the human brain is conditioned to believe the future will be ‘better’ than the present. The positives still outweighed the negatives, quite considerably, but the gap looks closer than it is now. The more important points that stuck out were a move to more remote working and a friend I work with potentially leaving. The social interaction I love is changing and I’d miss my friend.
The pro and cons helped, but there were not the decided factor.
It turned out to be a little cliche. No regrets.
I don’t want to be sitting in-front of a laptop in ten years time and wonder what would could have been. I of course want it to work out. But I’d rather try, fail, pick myself up and get back on where I fell off than not try at all.
Scared? Worried? Nervous? Yes to all three, but most of all excited.